My View on Relationships

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I always write posts about the thing that has been on my mind the most lately, and so today’s post is about love and relationships.

If you don’t know, I’ve been single for three years and have dated but never found myself in a relationship. Yes, some may say I have chosen the wrong guys to be around but for me, I have a strong intuitive feeling, and if something is not worth pursuing, then I wont pursue it.

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None of us should waste time on people that we don’t feel will add something to our lives.

I am very lucky that my parents have so much love between them, they have shown my siblings and I how great love can be. They inspired me to never settle for something less than that.

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After recently meeting someone very amazing, that I can see a great future with, I decided to share with you all the six things I believe are key to a successful relationship. They are inspired by my parents amazing relationship, plus my own life experience.

  • Your partner should challenge you. He/she should encourage you to become a better person and inspire to go for what you want. If you don’t know what you want, your partner should make you feel as though, with their love, you are able to discover just what it is.
  • You should be able to grow together. I believe we continuously grow in life, every single day, if we choose to. You should find someone that wants to continue growing and not just remain stuck in the same place. Not only should they seek growth in their own life, but also growth in the life you create together,
  • You should want your children to be like your partner. If you can look at your partner and think “He/she would make an amazing father/mother”, then to me, that’s love. You should love the qualities they have, the person they are and the person they are becoming.
  • You each should have your own projects. As much as creating a life together and being together is important, you both have different interests and need to pursue these projects individually in order to make the projects you pursue together successful.
  • Your partner should be the only person you want (and you should be the only person they want). Working on your relationship and doing what it takes to keep the other happy is so important. Even if you both get attention from other people, I once read a quote which I think sums this up nicely: “It doesn’t matter who wants me, I only want you”.
  • You should fall in love with them over and over again. A great partner is someone who can continue to do things to make you smile, even 20 years down the track. Your relationship should always be a priority, no matter how busy life gets.

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If you are yet to find great love, do what it is that you love, and you will find by focusing on yourself and bettering yourself, you will attract the right kind of people.

If you are currently on a love journey, enjoy it, put time and effort into it and it may just become one of the greatest love stories of all time.

And for those of you that have already found it, hold onto it, cherish it and preach it. Not enough people believe in great love these days, so remind everyone that it does exist.

i-fell-in-love-with-you-not-for-how-you-look-just-for-who-you-are-888209Have a beautiful and love filled weekend everyone!

Lots of love,

Kirstin xx

 

Get out of your rut

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We all get stuck in ruts, but once you realise you are in one, it’s often hard to get out.I recently got out of a rut I’d been in for two months, so I decided to share my story with you all on how I got out of it.

I left my job last week, I had wanted to for months because I felt I really needed to focus on my final year of studies. But I kept putting it off week after week, as I was too scared to make such a huge change.

However last Tuesday, I just became so stressed that I needed to do something about it. I called my best friend up and she had heard about my stress, tiredness, and wanting to quit for months now. She would always be there for me and offer some kind of advice but last Tuesday was different. She said:

“Okay, we need an attitude change. We need to change. Both of us. We are turning into different people. I don’t like who I am becoming. You aren’t happy in your job… You are going to get your positivity back, and so am I… I think we need to remember who we were last year… we were beautiful, caring, amazing young women ready to take on this world! That’s still us but I feel both of us are bogged down right now. We were focused on positivity, self love and acceptance. We need to get back to that. I really need this, and I need it before I forget to value myself.”

She had recently left her job too, I had become selfish, just focusing on my own problems, burdening her with my stresses and brought her down.

I had not seen the situation from this perspective and this made me so sad that I had dragged my amazing friend down with me. I was determined to make a change and the change had to happen that day because it’s sad for me to be down all the time but it was heartbreaking to think I brought my friend down with me.

My friend helped me out of this rut and I am so thankful to have such a beautiful soul in my life. If you’re in a rut here are my suggestions as to how you can get out of it:

  • Look at it from a different perspective, e.g. is your rut affecting more than just you?
  • Turn to a friend or family member and ask them to be brutally honest with you
  • Reflect on who you used to be, and if you’d rather be that person, figure out what it will take for you to get back there
  • Pinpoint the parts of your life that are bringing you down and work out how you can change them
  • And finally, have some courage! Making changes can be a scary thing, but you know what’s even scarier? Not making changes, staying in a rut and continuing to live life unhappily.

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It’s been almost a week since I left my job and I feel my life has completely turned around. I wake up smiling each day, have more time for myself and my studies and just feel I’m becoming a much happier person again. My friend is the same and we’re getting our happy back together.

We all need to be aware that our behaviors can affect those closest to us. If you’re down all the time, chances are you may be bringing a friend down with you. It’s not til you stop and see this, that you realise how much it hurts.

Get out of your rut, and make changes today.

Be positive and be there for your loved ones.

Be happy together.

Lots of love,

Kirstin xx

Believe that you deserve the best

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If you ever feel like you deserve to be treated better, you’re absolutely right, you sure do.

You deserve to feel that everyone in your life is helping you become a better person.

And know that anyone who does not help you to become a better person, does not deserve a second of your time.

You don’t need to be around negative, dream-crushing, soul-draining people.

Have the strength to walk away or let go of anyone that like this.

You deserve the best, and by removing these other people from your life, you make space for new people to come into your life.

One’s that will have a more positive effect on you.

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Lots of love,

Kirstin xx